Question by JαуJαу:
Do you think these are funny?
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”
The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
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A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That’s terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”
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A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
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Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer?
Because the grass tickles their balls!
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The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. “Need some help?” a secretary, walking by, asked.
“Yes,” he replied, “how does this thing work?” “Simple,” she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder.
“Thanks, but where do the copies come out?”
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I know they’re crap but, post yours!
CC, you really think I remember those? lol I wish! ;P
♥ℓινє ℓσνє ∂ιє ♥ and Robyn, I like them! Thanks!
I liked the first one the best!! I have no jokes for you,cos I suck at remembering them
Edit: Fine! Here you ago, a googled joke for you!
Q. How are men and parking spots alike?
A. Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.
Meh.
“Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer?” — is that Engrish?
haha those are funny XD
Not bad at all.
hehe i thought they were funny
:D
HAHAHA I thought they were HILARIOUS
PMSL that was soo funny thanks for the laugh mate now heres my joke its not that good though sorry
Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, “Is God male or female?”
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, “Well, honey, God is both male and female.”
This confuses Little Johnny, so he asks, “Is God black or white?”
“Well, God is both black and white.”
This further confuses him so he asks, “Is God gay or straight?”
At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless, “Honey, God is both gay and straight.”
At this Little Johnny’s face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, “Mom, is God Michael Jackson?”
they were actually pretty funny i “lol’ed”
A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $ 50 that he wouldn’t jump.
Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $ 50. The redhead said,
“I can’t take this, you’re my friend.”
But the blonde insisted saying,
“No. A bet’s a bet.”
Then the redhead said
“Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”
The blonde replied
“Well, so did I, but I didn’t think he would jump again!
that’s all i ogt, sorry if your offened by blonde jokes, not that your stupid..you know what ill just shut up now
Kool
Did you create them?